Sebuah illustrasi :


suatu kisah ayah, anak, dan keledai yang membawa muatan bawaan mereka di atas punggungnya. Mereka mau melakukan perjalanan menuju suatu kuil. Mereka singgah di setiap kota yang mereka temui. Di kota pertama, orang disana berkata: “Hei mereka tega sekali membebani keledai mereka seberat itu!” Mendengar perkataan itu ayahnya membawa muatan yg ada di punggung keledai dan melanjutkan perjalanan ke kota kedua.


Sesampainya di kota kedua, orang mulai berkata: “Anak yang durhaka. Dia membiarkan ayahnya memikul beban seberat itu!” Mendengar hal itu, anaknya memutuskan untuk memikul beban yang dibawa oleh ayahnya dan melanjutkan perjalanan menuju ke kota ketiga.


Sesampainya di kota ketiga, orang disana berkata: ” Mereka tidak efektif. Keledai itu hanya dibawa tapi tidak digunakan sama sekali.” Sang anak mempersilakan ayahnya untuk menaiki keledai tersebut dan melanjutkan perjalanan ke kota keempat.


Ketika berada di kota keempat, seseorang di tempat itu berkata: ” Mengapa tidak menyewa keledai satu lagi untuk membawa barang bawaan?” Sang ayah akhirnya menyewa keledai satu lagi untuk membawa barang bawaan mereka dan melanjutkan perjalanan mereka sehingga sampai ke kuil.


Sesampainya di kuil, biksu disana terheran-heran dengan mereka, ” mengapa kalian sampai membawa dua keledai dalam perjalanan kalian?” Sang ayah akhirnya kesal dan berkata,” Kami melakukan apa yang menurut semua orang adalah yang terbaik. Tetapi ketika berada di kota yang berbeda, mereka terus menerus mengomentari kondisi kami sehingga kami memposisikan kondisi sesuai dengan kemauan mereka, tapi mereka selalu mengeluh, tidak bisakah semua senang dengan kondisi yang sudah kami sesuaikan? Bahkan biksupun mengomentari kondisi kami.”


Kita sering berada pada posisi "si ayah dan anak" dalam ilustrasi diatas, Berusaha menyenangkan semua orang, Mungkinkah?


Mari kita pertimbangkan hal berikut

  • Pikiran Orang Lain

Setiap manusia pasti memiliki sisi pandang terhadap objek atau manusia lain tergantung apa yang ada dipikiran manusia yang menilai, bisa menilai baik, dan bisa buruk, Apakah kita bisa mengendalikan pikiran orang lain??? dengan tegas saya katakan "tidak bisa".

Misalkan :

  1. Ketika pemerintahan berjalan baik, apakah semuanya senang? tentu tidak, karena menggangu keberadaan oposisi.
  2. Ketika Anda mampu fokus menjalankan pekerjaan anda dengan baik dan benar, apakah orang lain semuanya menilai baik? belum tentu, kolega atau bahkan atasan kita belum tentu senang karena dikhawatirkan kita meminta promosi atau kenaikan jabatan.
  3. Ketika Auditor menjalankan fungsinya dengan baik, apakah semuanya senang? sudah pasti tidak karena mengganggu "yg lain".
  • Prinsip Hidup

Prinsip hidup itu panduan, cahaya dan nilai dalam menjalankan kehidupan. Kepercayaan diri tidak terlepas dari prinsip hidup ini. Orang yang memiliki prinsip hidup pasti memiliki kepercayaan diri, sehingga tidak pernah ragu dan khawatir akan pendapat orang lain atas apa yang dilakukannya.


Intinya, jika berada dalam posisi  "si ayah dan anak" dalam ilustrasi itu, Lakukan fungsi sesuai dengan prinsip hidup. sehingga akan mudah bagi kita untuk diminta penjelasan/pertanggungjawab atas cara/sikap/tindakan kita.


''That’s it, it will be a big failure if we try to make everyone happy''

''Kunci menuju kegagalan adalah mencoba untuk menyenangkan semua orang"

-----Bill Cosby-----


Even as a high school student, Dave Goldberg was urging female classmates to speak up. As a young dot-com executive, he had one girlfriend after another, but fell hard for a driven friend named Sheryl Sandberg, pining after her for years. After they wed, Mr. Goldberg pushed her to negotiate hard for high compensation and arranged his schedule so that he could be home with their children when she was traveling for work.

Mr. Goldberg, who died unexpectedly on Friday, was a genial, 47-year-old Silicon Valley entrepreneur who built his latest company, SurveyMonkey, from a modest enterprise to one recently valued by investors at $2 billion. But he was also perhaps the signature male feminist of his era: the first major chief executive in memory to spur his wife to become as successful in business as he was, and an essential figure in “Lean In,” Ms. Sandberg’s blockbuster guide to female achievement.

Over the weekend, even strangers were shocked at his death, both because of his relatively young age and because they knew of him as the living, breathing, car-pooling center of a new philosophy of two-career marriage.

“They were very much the role models for what this next generation wants to grapple with,” said Debora L. Spar, the president of Barnard College. In a 2011 commencement speech there, Ms. Sandberg told the graduates that whom they married would be their most important career decision.

In the play “The Heidi Chronicles,” revived on Broadway this spring, a male character who is the founder of a media company says that “I don’t want to come home to an A-plus,” explaining that his ambitions require him to marry an unthreatening helpmeet. Mr. Goldberg grew up to hold the opposite view, starting with his upbringing in progressive Minneapolis circles where “there was woman power in every aspect of our lives,” Jeffrey Dachis, a childhood friend, said in an interview.

The Goldberg parents read “The Feminine Mystique” together — in fact, Mr. Goldberg’s father introduced it to his wife, according to Ms. Sandberg’s book. In 1976, Paula Goldberg helped found a nonprofit to aid children with disabilities. Her husband, Mel, a law professor who taught at night, made the family breakfast at home.

Later, when Dave Goldberg was in high school and his prom date, Jill Chessen, stayed silent in a politics class, he chastised her afterward. He said, “You need to speak up,” Ms. Chessen recalled in an interview. “They need to hear your voice.”

Years later, when Karin Gilford, an early employee at Launch Media, Mr. Goldberg’s digital music company, became a mother, he knew exactly what to do. He kept giving her challenging assignments, she recalled, but also let her work from home one day a week. After Yahoo acquired Launch, Mr. Goldberg became known for distributing roses to all the women in the office on Valentine’s Day.

Ms. Sandberg, who often describes herself as bossy-in-a-good-way, enchanted him when they became friendly in the mid-1990s. He “was smitten with her,” Ms. Chessen remembered. Ms. Sandberg was dating someone else, but Mr. Goldberg still hung around, even helping her and her then-boyfriend move, recalled Bob Roback, a friend and co-founder of Launch. When they finally married in 2004, friends remember thinking how similar the two were, and that the qualities that might have made Ms. Sandberg intimidating to some men drew Mr. Goldberg to her even more.

Over the next decade, Mr. Goldberg and Ms. Sandberg pioneered new ways of capturing information online, had a son and then a daughter, became immensely wealthy, and hashed out their who-does-what-in-this-marriage issues. Mr. Goldberg’s commute from the Bay Area to Los Angeles became a strain, so he relocated, later joking that he “lost the coin flip” of where they would live. He paid the bills, she planned the birthday parties, and both often left their offices at 5:30 so they could eat dinner with their children before resuming work afterward.

Friends in Silicon Valley say they were careful to conduct their careers separately, politely refusing when outsiders would ask one about the other’s work: Ms. Sandberg’s role building Facebook into an information and advertising powerhouse, and Mr. Goldberg at SurveyMonkey, which made polling faster and cheaper. But privately, their work was intertwined. He often began statements to his team with the phrase “Well, Sheryl said” sharing her business advice. He counseled her, too, starting with her salary negotiations with Mark Zuckerberg.

“I wanted Mark to really feel he stretched to get Sheryl, because she was worth it,” Mr. Goldberg explained in a 2013 “60 Minutes” interview, his Minnesota accent and his smile intact as he offered a rare peek of the intersection of marriage and money at the top of corporate life.



While his wife grew increasingly outspoken about women’s advancement, Mr. Goldberg quietly advised the men in the office on family and partnership matters, an associate said. Six out of 16 members of SurveyMonkey’s management team are female, an almost unheard-of ratio among Silicon Valley “unicorns,” or companies valued at over $1 billion.

When Mellody Hobson, a friend and finance executive, wrote a chapter of “Lean In” about women of color for the college edition of the book, Mr. Goldberg gave her feedback on the draft, a clue to his deep involvement. He joked with Ms. Hobson that she was too long-winded, like Ms. Sandberg, but aside from that, he said he loved the chapter, she said in an interview.

By then, Mr. Goldberg was a figure of fascination who inspired a “where can I get one of those?” reaction among many of the women who had read the best seller “Lean In.” Some lamented that Ms. Sandberg’s advice hinged too much on marrying a Dave Goldberg, who was humble enough to plan around his wife, attentive enough to worry about which shoes his young daughter would wear, and rich enough to help pay for the help that made the family’s balancing act manageable.

Now that he is gone, and Ms. Sandberg goes from being half of a celebrated partnership to perhaps the business world’s most prominent single mother, the pages of “Lean In” carry a new sting of loss.

“We are never at 50-50 at any given moment — perfect equality is hard to define or sustain — but we allow the pendulum to swing back and forth between us,” she wrote in 2013, adding that they were looking forward to raising teenagers together.

“Fortunately, I have Dave to figure it out with me,” she wrote.

Dave Goldberg Was Lifelong Women’s Advocate

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